


Partners in Crime AU

by nineofhearts



Series: Collection of Fics [30]
Category: Glee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-06
Updated: 2015-06-06
Packaged: 2018-04-03 05:38:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4088974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nineofhearts/pseuds/nineofhearts
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Best friend Kurt and Blaine sneak into Kurt’s ex-boyfriend’s room to exact some revenge. (Takes place freshman year of college [which is also the year that Kurt and Blaine met])</p>
            </blockquote>





	Partners in Crime AU

“Wait- you want me to do what?” Kurt squeaks, the loud music in the room doing little to disguise his surprise. 

“Come on, it’ll be like, three seconds of your life, and it’ll give us an excuse to move towards his bedroom,” Blaine wheedles. “I promise to keep my tongue to myself.”

Kurt blushes, eyes flicking away from Blaine. “Oh my god,” his eyes land on Blaine’s again. “Fine.” He steps closer. “The next time I find out my boyfriend’s cheating on me, I’m going to save us the hassle and just kill him.”

Blaine lets out a laugh. “Not if I kill him first.” He leans closer. “So we’ll kiss, and I-”

There’s a scream, and out of the corner of his eye, Kurt sees a group of partiers crash to the floor as the table they were making out on breaks.

Suddenly there’s a tug on his arm, and Kurt finds himself being pulled into his ex-boyfriend’s room. 

“Okay, where does he keep his dildo and everything?” Blaine asks, eyes darting around the room.

“I don’t know!” Kurt feels his face go hot again. “He was cheating on me because I wasn’t sleeping with him, remember!”

Blaine squeezed his hand comfortingly. “Right, right, sorry. Um- you check his dresser, I’ll look in the nightstand.”

They rummage around and after a few minutes Blaine comes up triumphant. “I’ve got it!” he announces, setting a box on the bed next to the lube and condoms he’d apparently found earlier. “He has a lot of se-”

Kurt rolls his eyes in exasperation even as his ears strain towards the door, afraid of being caught. “We can throw the lube and the condoms in the dumpster-”

“The dumpster?” Blaine asks, looking up from the box he was peering into. “I thought we were going to leave him some lubed up condom balloon animals.”

“I thought that was a joke Blaine!” Kurt’s eyes widen.

“I never joke about condom balloon animals. Or defending my best friend’s honor,” Blaine says, voice far too serious. He rips open a condom. “Can I at least make one?”

Kurt snorts, trying to ignore the way his heart speeds up when he looks over at Blaine. “Fine,” Blaine beams. “We’ll make a few, but then we need to get out of here because the last thing I need is for us to get caught.”

“Blaine! No, you can’t keep any of these, oh my god-” Kurt snatches purple dildo out of Blaine’s hand, throwing it back in the box. “Just because you stole them with me, doesn’t mean you get to claim them!”

“Oh come on,” Blaine scoffs, glancing between Kurt and the contents of the box. “Just because they were his doesn’t mean we shouldn’t-”

“Yes!” Kurt interrupts. “Yes it does! They probably have diseases on them, and besides, you are not,” he swallows, cheeks heating up. “You’re not using my ex-boyfriends stuff to- to, you know,” he mimes jerking off.

Blaine stares at him for a moment before bursting out laughing and putting a lid on the box. Kurt glares. 

“If we’re not using them, then what are we doing with them?”

“Throwing them in the dumpster.” Kurt replies firmly. “I contemplated mailing the box to his parents, but that seemed expensive. And I don’t have their address.”

“Kurt!” A delighted smile crosses Blaine’s face, and Kurt’s stomach swoops. “You evil mastermind.”

He can’t help but smile back at Blaine. “I spent a lot of time in high school dreaming up ways to get revenge on people. I never thought I’d have to use it on an ex, but…” sighing, he puts the box on the floor. 

Blaine scoots back on the bed until he’s leaning against the headboard, and pats the space next to him. “Come on, we can talk about how much of a jerk Jack was, or we can watch a movie, or whatever you want.”

Kurt slides up the bed next to sit next him, and Blaine drapes his arm over him. “Let’s forget him. Tell me about your love life.”

Snorting, Blaine turns to look at him. “My love life? You mean the non-existent one?”

“Come on, there must be someone you have your eye on,” Kurt insists.

“Well, yeah, of course there is,” Blaine agrees.

“And…?” when there’s no response, Kurt looks over at Blaine to find him blushing. “Blaine?”

“I can’t tell you,” Blaine says, not looking over at him.

“Oh come on! Why not?” Kurt pokes him.

“You know him, you’ll start acting weird and I don’t-”

“I promise I won’t,” Kurt pleads.

Blaine rolls his eyes fondly and finally looks over. “I know you, mister, and you’d act differently.”

“Maybe I could set the two of you up!”

“Um. No- he, ah,” Blaine hesitates. “He just got out of a relationship, so I don’t really think he’d be up for-”

“Come on Blaine, you’re a catch, of course he’d be up for it,” Kurt scoffs, a little pang of jealousy twisting his stomach.

“So you’re telling me, that if I asked you out right now, you’d be up for it?” Blaine asks, incredulous.

“Yes.” Kurt insists, missing Blaine staring at him, slack jawed. “Come on Blaine, look at y-”

“Wait, are you serious?” Blaine cuts across him. “Or are you just trying to make me feel better?”

“Uh-” Kurt flushes, his own words finally registering. “No comment?”

Blaine stares at him. “Are you-?”

“I’m serious if you’re serious,” Kurt bites his lip.

“I’m serious.”

Kurt grins. “Maybe we should put this on hold for a week or two though, I do still have my exes sex toys under my bed.”

Blaine laughs loudly. “Okay, deal. Movie then?”

“Yes please.”


End file.
